HOW TO OVERCOME DISCOURAGEMENT AND LIVE THE LIFE YOU WERE MADE TO LIVE
MY STORY
I’m on a weight loss journey to lose 80 pounds. I’m tired of the yo-yo dieting; losing and gaining 25 to 30 pounds (for the last ten years). I’m also disappointed with myself for subconsciously allowing myself to become discouraged to the point of quitting last year after being 22 pounds away from a major weight loss goal.
In 2021, I decided to bet on myself and joined an App to make it official and to hold myself accountable. I decided on an amount of weight to lose and set a date to reach my goal. The goal was 80 pounds in eight months. Surely, I could lose two pounds a week based on my careful calculations and the plan I had put together, which included four to five days walking/jogging and two to three days strength training.
The weight started coming off and I was pleased with myself and got comfortable. Then my schedule changed, and I became busy with work, and it was harder to stick to my workout schedule. Soon the weather changed, and it was chilly in the mornings, and I was tired and hated walking in the cold. My deadline was less than a month away and I knew there was no way I could realistically reach my goal. I had come up 20 pounds short AGAIN.
I had previously scheduled a celebration event to help motivate me. Now, I was mortified! The disappointing thoughts bombarded me like automatic rapid-fire ammunition; “See Trinitia, I told you!”, “I knew you couldn’t do it!”, You failed again!”, “Why can’t I get over the hump?”, “What will people think?”. I was so disappointed that I silently moped for days and became depressed. But guess, what? I am NOT a QUITTER!
I made up my mind that I didn’t want to become chronically ill or even worse; DIE, from choosing to eat the Standard American Diet (SAD); especially after educating myself on the perils of our poor eating habits in the United States of America. So, I put my pride aside, extended my bet on the App, and made the decision to get back on track and work on my plan by taking it one day at a time and to become even MORE accountable to my good friend who was my accountability partner. To me, this was life or death. I chose LIFE.
If I reach my goal, I will get the opportunity to celebrate with many, but if I don’t lose the weight, I will lose the bet and some cash also. Yes, it is a risk (and I am VERY risk-adverse). But I have chosen to believe in myself and to press forward.
When I started the journey, I knew it was going to be ”a marathon and not a sprint” and that the challenge was going to be transforming my very impatient “Sprint” minded thinking into patient “Marathon” minded thinking. Transformation…yes, that’s my real goal.
Here are just some of the key tools that have helped me and that I have made a part of my journey to overcome my discouraging setback.
MY 5 KEY TOOLS FOR OVERCOMING DISCOURAGEMENT
• Acknowledge Your Disappointment and Re-establish Your Why
After I extended my bet on my App, one morning I got up earlier than usual and walked to the Lake and sat down on some steps. As I looked at the beautiful view of the city, I shed a few tears and silently began to pray and to encourage myself in the LORD. In my mind I analyzed every detail of the past months and made mental markers on the habits that I had let creep in to overtake the discipline and consistency I had worked so hard to achieve during my weight loss journey. I reflected on everything that I was doing and HAD done to get to the point I had now reached. I asked myself the HARD questions because I was determined to find a way to get back up and TRY AGAIN. I didn’t WANT to, but I HAD to, and re-establishing my WHY (I choose LIFE) helped me to get up.
• Start Talking to Yourself…Affirmations! Affirmations! Affirmations!
I am very analytical. Always thinking, wondering, contemplating, pondering. You name it…I’m probably doing it…LOL.
While analyzing my belief system and what went wrong for me, I realized that to keep my mind focused and to keep the right attitude about how my journey was going, I literally had to talk to myself in an encouraging manner. While taking a daily walk, I would say to myself, “Trinitia, you can do this!” Sometimes I would visualize myself smiling during an imaginary rewarding shopping spree where I could see the fruits of my labor as I tried on beautiful clothes that fit me perfectly. I would say, “Trinitia, you are beautiful inside and outside!” Additionally, I would challenge myself to journal my thoughts and to write down the Pros and Cons of losing weight. The Pros always won!
• Prune Your Negative Vines.
Now I know the Na-Sayers would probably come after me with pitchforks and bad-mouth me for all the positivity and self-talk I just confessed to you, but this is where I would tell you that I learned the hardest lesson on my journey.
The seeds of fear, doubt, and uncertainty will pop up when you least expect them. So be prepared to prune your negative vines just like a gardener. Those innocent thoughts running across your mind saying, “You can’t do this. You’re too old. You’re too heavy. You might hurt yourself.” (Trust me, I heard all of them in my head at my lowest points). I marvel at how easy it is to think the worst first as opposed to thinking the best first in a situation. It’s not something I’m proud of and it’s not something that’s easy to change without making the effort to be aware and to be present in your mindset and thinking as much as possible. But when you start feeling down because the scale didn’t go in the direction you wanted and you begin to think depressing thoughts because you had a tough day, and you start to hear that noise and those discouraging words in your head because you feel defeated, get your clippers and take care of the garden in your mind.
Remind yourself that you are fearfully and wonderfully made! Remind yourself that you intend to leave a legacy of health and wellness for your family and friends! Remind yourself that your latter years of life will indeed be greater because you not only expect it, but you realize that it can happen, and you will aspire to attain it!
- Celebrate the Small Wins.
It’s been a few months now since I had to start over, but I have gotten back on track, and it is making a big difference in my life. I feel so much better, and I am in a much better mental space in life. Part of my success has been learning to celebrate my small victories on a daily and weekly basis.
When I set my mind on achieving a goal, I tend to grind and grind and grind with a focused determination to get from point A to point B. Even now, I am currently tracking my weight loss stats via a Fitbit watch, the MyFitness Pal App, my new weight loss scale, my Word Doc journal, and several Excel spreadsheets (I’m very serious…LOL). I often set small goals during the month or week to help me keep going over the long haul. One week I couldn’t get in my 10K steps three times per week, and I was a bit disappointed until I analyzed my total steps for the month and realized I had completed more than 67K steps in only a few weeks. Every little step did indeed count! This taught me to celebrate the small wins on the journey to my BIG WIN.
I have also implemented a weekly clothing “Try On” game to help me not focus on my scale weigh-ins so much. I start with something that’s tight and requires possibly a 5-pound loss to get in and I try the article of clothing on weekly until I can wear it comfortably. This excites me tremendously because I LOVE clothes and I allow myself to celebrate my small win.
- Establish Boundaries.
All of us get discouraged at some point in life. But I have one final success tool to share with you. It centers around the importance of prevention.
To prevent the triggers and temptations that caused my failure to reach my weight loss goal, I acknowledged that for me to be successful at losing weight and keeping my weight manageable, I had to establish realistic food boundaries for myself.
Food is EVERYWHERE and food is heavily entrenched in my culture. I realized that I tend to eat something when I’m sad and when I’m happy, when I’m working on a project at my computer and when I’m scrolling through social media and even when I’m reading a good book. When I was busy commuting to and from work, I would eat breakfast and dinner in my car as I traveled to my job. And even when I stopped commuting, I subconsciously continued to travel and “eat” in my car as I ran weeknight and weekend errands. No wonder I gained weight!
Now I that I am aware of these things that cause me to get off track, I have set boundaries to remind me of my WHY (I choose LIFE) and to keep me safe…safe from harm (bad habits) … safe from the trap of depression (wrong thinking about situations). I now share updates with my Accountability partner regularly and we both keep each other encouraged. I also know my strengths and weaknesses regarding food, so I analyze my food situations and implement boundaries such as putting a limit on the number of times I can eat out, grocery shopping within a certain time limit while refraining from the visiting the “junk food” aisles and refraining from eating foods (especially desserts) simply because they are offered to me. All these boundaries have made my eating habits better and my discouragement on this weight loss journey very rare.
If you’re searching for ways to overcome depression for yourself or for someone else and you’ve read this blog up to this point, Thank You for being diligent! Discouragement can get to anyone in any situation. But you are not alone. I hope by sharing my own personal weight loss journey and pitfalls and how I have overcome them will inspire, motivate, and encourage you to consider and use these great tools to help you overcome and live the life that you were made to live!
If you enjoyed this article, please take a few minutes to share with me some how this article has helped your thoughts about overcoming discouragement or feel free to share what tools you’ve used to overcoming a discouraging situation.
AS ALWAYS, I AIM TO INSPIRE! TO MOTIVATE! AND TO ENCOURAGE!